work, work, work

so...i work as an operator, and as an operator i come in contact with a lot of strange people.
case in point #1: a man just called looking for a bishop. i told him that i could not find a bishop with that name, so he asked for the dean of religion's number. his home number. apparently he thought that poor andrew skinner would be able to help him find this bishop (the religion department, by the way, does not deal with wards and stakes, but rather with teaching religion classes to the students). the man then went on to tell me a long story about how he was at byu during the 100th anniversary, and his religion teacher was The Dallin H. Oaks and he has a feeling that some of his old classmates have called him to "chat it up." What a kook.
case in point #2: clark. clark was a 50-something-year-old man in florida who got our number who knows how. he would call at 11, 12 p.m. mountain standard time (that is 2 and 3 a.m. in florida) to talk about brigham young and how he was a great man, great leader and great spiritualist. he would call to talk about apostles, prophets, past leaders...hugh nibley was a favorite of his. he would call to talk about terrorism and the president's policies on iraq. he would call to tell us he has read the book of mormon 7 times. he would call just to say "i think your church is really great and i would like you to visit my website godsuniverse.com." by the way, if you are ever bored, enter this website at your own risk (it's pretty weird). good ol' clark. he stopped calling when we started transferring him to the police.
case in point #3: the girl who called up wanting to know what color emeralds are. the conversation went like this:
operator: operator
girl: what color are emeralds? they are red, aren't they?
operator: no, they are green.
girl: but they are an opaque green, right?
operator: no, they are clear, like a green diamond.
girl: oh...ok. thanks.
how did she ever get into college?